crimewave420:

in the back of the club arms folded cause i don’t agree with the music selection

thebootydiaries:

me: *grabbing seaweed out of the ocean with my bare hands to impress cute girls on the beach*

girl 1: oh my god, that guy is grabbing seaweed out of the ocean with his bare hands

girl 2: really?? is he crying??

girl 1: only a little bit

girl 2: wow thats hot

(Source: fartgallery)

uglysnacc:

you might like getting choked but sea turtles don’t so keep your FUCKIN plastic out of the ocean.

bedfish:

um ok then bitch go marry that lochness monster if you wish

(Source: bedfish)

fake:

My boyfriend started a club where he would go to the library and help older people with their phones and tablets and the most baffling story he told me was that an old woman came in who didn’t know that charging phones was a thing so everytime her phone died she would just throw it out and buy a new one

snarthurt:

goreknob:

if u were forced to get a tattoo of an emoji which one would you pick

rosesinblue:

I love being in college because there are no actual adults around so everyone is just going around bullshitting their way through basic tasks. Like I can be like “I think I got better from my cold because I ate an orange yesterday” and everyone is like “Yeah makes sense” and somebody could just be like “I’m gonna put my pillow in the washing machine to clean it” and everyone’s like “Sounds like a great idea John”

(Source: luunaloba)

itwashotwestayedinthewater:

God Just Be Making Anybody

classicmeevs:

classicmeevs:

Honestly this is fucking brilliant because you can put hot drinks in this cup and since it has a handle you won’t burn your hand drinking it

(Source: classicmeevs)

wheres-warhol:

*showers*
*immediately puts the same pajamas back on, but this time with the Good Underwear™*

(Source: brianharoldbae)

swarovskia:

me: wow things are actually going really well for once!

the crippling anxiety, waiting in the corner:

(Source: hope-crest)

(Source: meanplastic)

ouijaboarding:

Sending a long meaningful message and getting a one word reply

(Source: ouijaboarding)